Daniel you are a star

Gender pronouns in the workplace

Daniel, you are a star! Many will recognize this as a line from a much-loved song by Elton John and Bernie Taupin: Today, it is also my personal salute to actor Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame. Daniel Radcliff found his voice after controversial statements were made by author JK Rowling. Writing that the issue is not about “in-fighting between JK Rowling and myself”, he added: “Transgender women are women. Any statement to the contrary erases the identity and dignity of transgender people and goes against all advice given by professional health care associations who have far more expertise on this subject matter than either Jo or I.”. He used his power to take a stand against discrimination. This is leadership. 

If we want a world where every person with all our intersecting identities feels accepted and can live without fear, we all need to educate ourselves and speak up against all kinds of discrimination. And leaders in every sphere of society must show the way. Really? Should every company and organisational leader care about the global and very personal gender identity debate? I say YES. Because it’s all about creating the most inclusive experience for your employees and customers possible. 

Forbes is clear: Diversity is a key driver of innovation and is a critical component of being successful on a global scale. Senior executives are recognizing that a diverse set of experiences, perspectives, and backgrounds is crucial to innovation and the development of new ideas. When asked about the relationship between diversity and innovation, a majority of global leaders say that diversity is crucial to encouraging different perspectives and ideas that foster innovation.

Therefore – as a leader it’s in your interest to explore your own beliefs, perhaps move out of your comfort zone and embrace humanity in its full glory. Your voice can help create a feeling of being comfortable as part of a particular group because the other group members welcome you and accept who you are. 

Now it’s not easy, but definitely worthwhile. A good place to start is by sharing your own gender identity through using pronouns. I’m sure you may already be aware but possibly hesitant to use pronouns. In a previous job, I explained the use of pronouns in the following way and I hope it can help you discover their potential to enhance a sense of belonging in the workplace.

“It’s a girl!”, exclaims the midwife, after peeking between the legs of the newborn. The gender identity we are assigned at birth – girl or boy – is most often determined solely by our sexual anatomy. For thousands of years, this stood unquestioned. Ironically, humankind has also always known that some men feel like women, some women feel like men, and many more non-binary variations.

Our society has assigned many things to our sex in terms of how we should act and look. If you LOOK like a girl, you should ACT like a girl, and if you LOOK like a boy you should ACT like a boy. A girl should be nice, and a boy should be courageous. A boy can’t be a nurse and a girl can’t be a pilot. A boy must marry a girl and a girl must marry a boy. These are the prevailing gender norms, and they can be harmful and lead to discrimination and abuse of the non-conformant.

Children are quite capable of telling us who they are. They often know what their gender or sexual orientation is, regardless of all information, gender norms, and child-rearing to the contrary. Both children and adults can therefore of course feel disrespected, a sense of exclusion and alienation if they are constantly expected to conform only to the gender assigned at birth and the norms that go with it. In some instances, this leads to irreparable trauma.

Pronouns are one of the ways we portray our identities. My pronouns are she/her/hers and they align with my birth gender. Living a life where people will naturally assume the correct pronouns for me is a privilege that not everyone experiences, as you can’t always tell what someone’s pronouns are just by looking at them.

By being mindful of others’ pronouns, we can help build a more inclusive culture for LGBTQ+ colleagues. And, inclusiveness is key to fostering the culture we want.

If you’re comfortable with sharing your own pronouns, adding them to your email signature can be a way to help colleagues and partners with diverse gender identities and gender expressions feel included. For this reason, I have added my pronouns to my email signature.

On the other hand, I don’t personally feel it would be inclusive to make sharing pronouns in emails compulsory as not everyone feels comfortable sharing theirs. I realize that not all share my views on gender identity. I also recognize that a person’s gender identity is fluid, malleable, and open to change, based on both the individual and their surroundings. This can make finding the ‘right’ pronoun difficult and unsettling for some. Other reasons for not sharing could be fear, discretion, privacy, etc. Not everyone is ready to bring all their identities to work.

The bottom line for me is zero tolerance for discrimination and abuse. I want everyone to feel safe bringing their unique intersecting identities to work.

If you – as a public or private sector leader – choose to use pronouns you may also want to use your power to influence national or local authorities in your country to put an end to the ordeal faced by trans and gender-diverse persons and foster their inclusion. The United Nations Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights recommendations that states among many other things should run campaigns to eliminate the social stigma associated with gender diversity and adopt education policies addressing harmful social and cultural bias, misconceptions, and prejudice. You can read more here.

With small, medium, and large actions we can all make a difference and help make the world a better place for everyone. 

First published on 11 November 2022